I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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