i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
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If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
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I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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