I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
