sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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