I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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