i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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