Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
