I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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