how can u be prego again
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
