Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
