he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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