he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
