I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
