Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
