dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
