my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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