idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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