somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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