Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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