They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
