Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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