you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
