Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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