I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
