College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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