In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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