hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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