How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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