Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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