He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
