I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
