Banned from zoo.
Again?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
