he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
