so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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