dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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