He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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