Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
