Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
