New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.