question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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