My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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