Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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