I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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