I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
