what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
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besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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