return my video game
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize