I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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