Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
