Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
