..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
