Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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