so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
