Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize
