I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
