Rock
Scissors
Fuck
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
