We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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