You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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