As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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