I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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