I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
