I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize