two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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