Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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