So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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