What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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