i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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