I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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