i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
