How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
