Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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