the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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