I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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