alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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