All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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